Many times we make mistakes with our strong-willed children. Sometimes BIG mistakes. They have a way of pushing every button we have! They make us feel like failures as parents and often if a bad temper is a struggle for us, it will be the child we use it with the most.
I encourage you today to repent to that child if there is anything you have done to hurt the relationship. The Bible says, be angry but sin not.
Have you sinned against your child? I know I have, sometimes to the point where I feel I have ruined them or maybe even ruined myself. Children are the most forgiving people on this earth. They really are. Run to them and ask for forgiveness. Many times my child and I will end up in tears during these times, it is often when you will see real repentance on their part as well.
They feel safe in the arms of a mother or father that sees they are not perfect either!
Focus on the family did study years ago and asked kids of all ages if they could change one thing about their mom what would it be? A majority of them said “that my mom wouldn’t yell so much”
Moms, I have been there, I was a yeller! I came from a home where yelling was just as normal as eating dinner every night and I took it straight to my new home with my new husband and right along with me to the first child. When my 2nd was born and very strong-willed I thought it would be the death of me.
God continued to speak to me OVER and OVER about yelling. Finally, I started to listen and to pray. Many times I had to take a timeout and sometimes still do. That timeout helps me get it together before I take it out on the ones I love the most!
Go to your room and lock the door and pray. Pray until you can come out calmly and deal with the situation. Jump in the shower and let the water soothe your body and your heart until you can come out and whatever you do sin not and if you fail you need to start over again and again. Don’t give up!
I didn’t want my children to have memories of mom screaming all the time. I didn’t want them to remember me always flying off the handle when things didn’t go right for me. I didn’t want my kids to run and hide when they broke something or had a spill.
It literally brings tears to my eyes to write this.
It is painful knowing I ever hurt my children even if it wasn’t physically.
If anger is a struggle for you, I know it is not easy. I still have issues sometimes with it, praise God, it is not often anymore, but only because of HIS grace and help! I couldn’t do it in my own strength.
Repenting to your child will be your first step in healing the relationship. Tell them how you are feeling. Talk to them about issues you are having with them when it is not in the moment of frustration. When you bring up issues bring them up when tempers are not flaring and their guard is down, they will often take your advice, discipline, and/or apology the best.
Think about your Father in heaven. HE forgives all that you do, EVERY single thing. Have a forgiving spirit to your strong-willed child but also repent before him/her. Let them know you’re sorry for your temper, or your overreaction! Remind them that you love them, over and over again.
For the ones who feel much guilt about the past, pray about that too. God is the redeemer of time! He will make up the time the locust has eaten up. I have heard of moms who have struggled with deep depression and tempers and the kids don’t even remember it. When that mom gave it all to Jesus, HE restored it all! Don’t live in the past; just look forward to kids who love you and a Father that died on an old rugged cross just for the bad stuff in you! HE didn’t pay that price for anything. Accept the forgiveness and move forward in love!
It is not easy raising strong-willed children but remember God loaned them to you a while, HE felt you were the mom for the job! What an honor it is serving him and raising these children up!
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